Janes Erotic Blog

W e need to talk about a lie that can be perpetrated daily – often going unpunished – a lie that affects the happiness, health, and trust levels of millions of people. We need to talk about you lying about your penis size. As a women we know when you are lie. We can measure, we know! So when you lie or put on about your huge dick, it first makes you sound ignorant and stupid. then when we discover you have nothing more than a hot dog cock in your pants (Oscar Meyer advertises their hot dogs at 5 3/4 inches lo - By Shannonng uncooked) we wonder what type of looser you are. Even worse is now when you can't deliver the goods for us we know you are a looser! More amazing might be the man that does not talk about it, keeps us guessing. then we see it's just an average cock in length but amazing things happen in bed with it and the rest of your parts! There are white lies we tell people to feel better. (“Your butt looks great in that dress!”) White lies are not necessarily a...

The men's locker room is something that fascinates me, I mean what goes on there. I recently learned of anew term for a penis, and I thought I had heard it all. "He Has A Locker Room Gherkin". the comment came first from a male friend of mine as we all sat around a bar table - then sure enough several women chimed in and and said "Oh yea a Gherkin dick". Heather, a friend of mine begins to explain it's a guy that has a really small soft penis - One usually found I guess in a locker room I asked jokingly. Heather says - "nope one of those little ones that hopefully grow, you know like one to three inches long soft."  This then proceeded the men at the table to ask does a small penis soft make a difference to women then?  Most of us, no all of us said no not really. In reality a Gherkin penis can be found anywhere. We all agreed a nice big thick soft penis was a guarantee of a big one erect and they are nice to look at and instantly can ...

GETTING REAL WITH NICK HAWK'S DaNGLY PARTS  You guys. There’s something I’ve been meaning to tell you for a very long time. I’m hopelessly in love with the Showtime reality series Gigolos. If you haven’t seen it, Gigolos provides an “extremely rare and uncensored look into the personal and professional lives of five hot guys in Vegas who like to hang out, have fun and get girls, but in their case they get paid for it.”  Yes, Gigolos is a reality show about male escorts living in Sin City and it’s so horrible, it’s actually kind of amazing. It has everything you hope and wish for from reality TV: Sex, Cat-Fights, Spray-tans, blatant prostitution. It's Lifetime on steroids, what more could you ask for? It’s OK, you’re free to judge me all you want. My love for   Gigolos   is a personal shame I live with everyday. Above is the gang from season 1-2: Jimmy (the sensitive one, who is undergoing an existential crisis), Vin (the laid back, token black du...

How To Fuck a Woman So She Keeps Cuming Back Look, I know you men have it difficult. Women are just about impossible to understand, much less please. In a post-feminist society, you never know exactly what you should be doing. Women are bloody picky, I know we are. It can be scary, too, when women freak out about what appear to be benign issues. And men who do their best to be respectful, female-positive humans, I salute you, I do, but please, please just fuck me already.  Honestly, I appreciate your thoughtfulness. I like that you want to take things slow. I can totally get behind the idea of emotional connection, but dearjesusinheaven, FUCK ME. We want a lot of things but sometimes we just want fucked good. We’ve done dinner and drinks. We’ve gone dancing. We’ve cuddled and watched a movie. I’m wearing a low cut shirt and you’ve been staring at my breasts all night. Goodgodalmighty, get to it and fuck me. When we get hot and heavy, please take charge. Please...

You might think that only a spoiled man, bored of blow jobs, hand-jobs, vaginal, and possibly even anal sex, would want to put titty-fucking on the menu. However I think otherwise. It's just another amazing thing I have in my arsenal to please my hubby. A guy’s not the Veruca Salt of intercourse — or insulting your other sexual routines — just because he wants to have sex with your boobs.   He loves your boobs, and you (hopefully) love your boobs, and together your love will nurture your boobs until they get into a top-tier college and graduate summa cum laude. Or, at the very least, be the hot dog bun for his hot dog to get off on. That's a big one when you see it pop out the top. No boobs are too small.  You might think that big boobs are required but as but as a lifelong card-carrier I can tell you that when there’s a will, there’s a way — although, admittedly, pushing them together does tend to be a bit painful. At first, you might feel like a doofus, b...