Breast Sex, by guest blogger Kailey M

You might think that only a spoiled man, bored of blow jobs, hand-jobs, vaginal, and possibly even anal sex, would want to put titty-fucking on the menu. However I think otherwise. It's just another amazing thing I have in my arsenal to please my hubby.

A guy’s not the Veruca Salt of intercourse — or insulting your other sexual routines — just because he wants to have sex with your boobs. He loves your boobs, and you (hopefully) love your boobs, and together your love will nurture your boobs until they get into a top-tier college and graduate summa cum laude. Or, at the very least, be the hot dog bun for his hot dog to get off on.

That's a big one when you see it pop out the top.

No boobs are too small. You might think that big boobs are required but as but as a lifelong card-carrier I can tell you that when there’s a will, there’s a way — although, admittedly, pushing them together does tend to be a bit painful. At first, you might feel like a doofus, but once you see he’s getting off on it, you’ll start to feel like a Powerful Woman Made of Breasts and Magic.

Wieners shape, size and curve matters. My hubby is average size with a boner that has a slight curve but points strait up. I dated a very well hung man before marriage  and he was too much for my little boobs but erect he was easier to maneuver that my hubby's smaller penis. This is more of an experiment in boob and dick size to make it all work well. 

Don't give up he will just like rubbing that thing on you regardless. Jane mentioned to me (since she does indeed have some large boobies) to be cognoscente of smaller sized men if you are big since they can get lost in there. Keep in mind your position might depend more on how it lays hard than anything else - you can only move that stiffy around so much. You might even need to get creative and figure out a way to hold it in there at the same time. 

You need to keep the thing from popping out

There are two primary positions, depending on your cup size. One involves him on his back and you bending over him, pushing them together. There’s a reason that the most flattering boob-shot selfies are taken from that angle — for smaller-chested girls. 

Thanks to the miracle of gravity, it gives you cleavage you may not have when you’re on your back. If you’ve got bigger breasts, you can lie on your back and have him crouch over you.

(You could also have him sit on the edge of the bed while you kneel, facing him — but this will get uncomfortable after awhile. Or at least it does for me, because I am 29-going-on-TGIF Early Bird Special.)

Sometimes the dick dwarfs the boobies. Just know he is loving it.

Do not rely on spit to keep your between-boob valley a waterslide. Saliva dries quickly and will only end in discomfort — go with a silicon-based lube. It lasts the longest, and while it can irritate some women when used during penetrative sex, you don’t have to worry about that this time.

If you want to free up your hands for any variety of activities, use your upper arms to continue to push your boobs together.

Oral is optional. Considering that the head of his penis will be bobbing up and down toward your face for the next three to seven minutes like a large and enthusiastic sandworm, you could totally put your mouth on it. But that’s totally your call. Some people like garnishing their deviled eggs with paprika; others think deviled eggs are delicious enough without it. Yes, I compare all sex acts to egg recipes.

Be aware that when he cums, you’re at a prime angle for a facial. When he’s about to finish, do you want to tell him to pull back and come on your breasts? Or are you prepared to take the hit? This is the shit Sara Bareilles wrote “Brave” about. The finish and jack off on my tits is usually my thing but the hubby has lost it a few times and I took it on the chin!