It seems that men aren't the only ones with a threesome fantasy.
New findings from the
Journal of Sex Research found the two categories of porn that both men and
women like watching is threesomes and oral sex.
Threesomes consistently
top the 'fantasies for women. Being ravaged by new men at the same time or having them take turns pleasing a women is at the top. But there's an enormous difference between watching one online and
having one in reality.
Of all the fantasies
couples choose to act out, inviting another person into your bed is the one
most guaranteed to go wrong – and most likely to have negative effects on your
relationship long-term.
THE 12 REASONS WHY
THREESOMES GO HORRIBLY WRONG
Jealous
The obvious, most
glaring reason threesomes backfire is that couples who love each other usually
have a hard time seeing their partners with someone else. Even if there is not
a love thing going on between two of the people, most of us are pretty
territorial about relationships and our partners and not used to sharing
them. Especially men! Men are naturally territorial. So
when the biggest dick in the room (This time figuratively) wins over the
girl there can problems.
No matter how much
you've imagined it, you can't really prepare yourself for what it feels like to
watch someone else kiss or touch someone
Threesomes are awkward
The fantasy and reality
are usually miles apart because things always go a lot smoother in our heads
than it does in the bed.
No-one really knows
who's supposed to do what to who or when when you first have a threesome.
Polite couples can find
it turns into a: 'No, you go', 'No, no, you go'. Meanwhile, the third person's
rolling their eyes and examining their nails.
Eveyone feels
self-conscious
Sure, you've made love
before but you've not had three people trying to please everyone and
themselves. They've felt what you do
but not seen what you do: what if you look fat/silly/decidedly unsexy? And what if the third
person thinks that killer signature sex move is rubbish? Will they then think
you're bad in bed?
Performance anxiety is
common for both men and women – especially if you're not terribly experienced.
No one wants to be the
one doing all the work
Most of us cast
ourselves in the taking role when we imagine a threesome. And get a bit put out
when we realize this isn't necessarily the case. Inevitably one of the men will
outperform the other and again there is that awkwardness.
He can't rise to the
occasion
Men often feel under so
much pressure to perform with one women and can't get an erection at all add in
another man to compete with and it could be a boner killing mood for not one
maybe maybe both men. Their sexual confidence is shattered to smithereens
(What on earth does he tell the lads?) and the ramifications can be dire.
She seems to like it a
little too much
Men often fare worse in
threesome for lots of reasons. Lesbians consistently rate highest for the
group most happy with their sex life. Watching your wife, girlfriend or
lover have more - or more intense orgasms - with a man than she's ever had with
you is another nail in the coffin of sexual confidence. Even if it's casual if
he is pleasing her better then one man is left out in the rain.
Three is an odd number
There's three of you in
the bed, not two or four, so one person will sometimes feel left out – and
start getting paranoid. With a MMF (Male, male, female) scenarios like we are suggesting a lot of times one man may have to sit in the side lines.
Do they fancy the new
person more than you? Are they enjoying themselves more with them than they do
with you?
Is this person better in
bed? Is the new person acting like your partner's the best thing in bed since
the vibrator?
Catch a glimpse of
chemistry between the two of them that's missing in your relationship and
suddenly it's not half as much fun. Lots of people are well aware of this and
find themselves inhibited for fear of upsetting their partner.
And if you can't let
loose and enjoy yourself, what's the point?
You're drunk
Lots of people end up in
a threesome drunk or high on drugs; both can work wonders to reduce inhibition.
Trouble is your
judgement – crucial in situations like this – disappears faster than your
clothes.
The ability to 'read'
your partner – who may be less into it than you are – is fatally flawed.
Sometimes people keep
going out of sheer 'politeness' or because they think their partner's enjoying
it and might get annoyed if they stop.
You both need one eye
focused on your partner the entire time – especially if it's your first time –
to check they really are fine. If you're seeing six in the bed and having
trouble focusing on anything, you're in trouble. It can be fun for
a woman but be prepared for some drama in most cases.
Someone gets blamed
If the experience wasn't
great, someone always gets blamed. Even if you everyone came up
with the idea together (which rarely happens, by the way), it's a natural human
instinct to want to take it out on someone. This might be you or
your partner – either way, not huge fun.
Someone is better and
desire kicks in
If the threesome was
with men you know, any future contact could now been seen as a desire for a
repeat performance or awkward. Some women do fall in love with the third
party and ditch their partner for them. It doesn't happen often but it does
happen, particularly if the person is a friend.
Lots of people feel guilty, cheap or disgusted with themselves afterwards. Sometimes, those feelings kick in during it: once you've had an orgasm, your mood can very quickly change from sexy to sordid.
Surely safer to stick to
a twosome, which is far more likely to produce a post-coital glow rather than
post-coital cringe!
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