Sex with a transgender man?

Jane asked me to write up a transgender article form a guys point of view who is transgender. It's in the media and it's all the talk now. Let’s face it, you all want to know about the whole penis issue. Keep in mind I am only coming from my point of view as a transgender male and this article is not going to sum up every scenario and aspect of everyone's life experience. 


Let's get some of the penis questions out of the way right now.

Do transgender men have a penis? Yes, most if not all of them have a penis that's the trans part. If you get it removed well then your a women at that point mostly. As for me I have a penis and testicles they are just really small - the balls and the penis that is. I get a boner like every guy just a little one and I got balls just like other men just small ones.  

Not all Trans men have a small 

dick. Mine is small and always has 

been. Many Trans men could put a 

lot of strait men to shame with the 

size of there dick. It's not a size thing.  

Sex recently has involved a lot of talking before, and after, and thankfully that’s been with someone who is open-minded, patient, and prepared to alter how she previously saw sex. Before that, the majority of my sex was focused solely on what the woman wanted and my own discomfort was shunted to the side or ignored. That was down to me, not them, I should stress. This is what sex with a transgender man is like We need to talk (Picture: Daylife) Like with anything in life, if you don’t understand, the best course of action is to simply ask. If you’re attracted to the guy in question, how his body is when you meet him will likely be a bigger issue for him than for you, especially in the early stages of transition or non at all.

Do transsexual men like women or men? Again varies but a lot of "straight" guys like the transsexual thing also keep in mind. I say "straight" because I believe most who like them are gay but just don't know it yet.  Transsexuals sometimes even date each other. I think it varies but from my experience it's mostly trans men with trans men but I have dated other women. I prefer dating men not trans-men. Typically it's common courtesy (and self preservation) for a transsexual to make it known they are a pre-op transsexual if they are dating strait men.


Are transgender men more feminine? Actually not always but typically many will "dress up" on there social time, some prefer to identify as female all the time. Again this is a preference thing.

Do transgender men have female parts or smaller male parts? There are some that might have a biologically outward appearance in there genitalia that could be different in some more rare instances. No! Not all transgender men have a small penis. In fact a lot of them have really large penises. In my case I would say I have always been more feminine as I stated above  I am quite small in the penis department - again it all varies.

So you are still wondering, ‘what the hell do I do with one that’s *different*?’


That’s why you’re really reading this right?

So just how does it work with one that’s not quite the same as all the others you’ve encountered?

Quite well, actually, but, that tends to depends on the individuals involved. Sex from person to person is different and that’s the same case when it comes to sex with trans guys.

What turns one on will have another thinking you’re some sort of pervert, so where you’re going to have to step up your game is in the communication department if you want the bedroom department to work for both people involved.

Yes to answer your question men have anal sex with each other and there are two dicks involved on occasion and one of them is a dick in the wind at times. Does that answer it for you? this is not always the case though - I have several Trans friends who have girlfriends and they do "other" things together or they do exactly what you might think a penis and a vagina might do together.

It's not a size thing people, sometimes
a transgender can outclass even the
most rugged looking strait man. 

A lot also depends on your own starting point and what you think sex involves, but there’s no denying that sex with a trans guy, especially one who is pre-op or has opted for no lower surgeries at all, is going to be different than with a CIS guy. However, different is not necessarily a bad thing. In fact, in that difference, you can often find some great surprises, such as guys who have more interest in making sure the woman enjoys herself rather than focusing solely on his own pleasure.

Of course, there are prosthetics than can be used and, for the most part, are incredibly realistic and can provide similar sensations for the woman if not for the guy, but these are a personal choice and not everyone is happy using them.

For me, pre-transition, sex was a minefield due to the levels of discomfort I felt with my own body. Now, as I change, I find myself becoming more comfortable than I ever thought possible, but there’s some distance to go. The problem with me was I like women but since I always felt more feminine and was so incredibly small in the cock department pleasing a women was difficult other than oral and I felt out of sorts. I was also attracted to well built, masculine men all my life! Most trasn men I know are pre-op and switched often between top and bottom. I prefer bottom unless he is overly well hung but I sometimes switch myself.


Talk it out when you get to know him and you both feel like you’d like to take the relationship to the next level. This doesn’t mean that you just dive in and ask him to describe his genitals as soon as you find out he’s a trans guy. That’s just rude. Ask yourself first ‘would I ask a CIS guy this after just meeting him?’ If the answer is ‘no,’ you’d probably be advised just keeping your mouth shut.