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My thoughts on your penis size (Guest blogger: Carolyn Lane)

My thoughts on your penis size

Article written by guest blogger: Carolyn Lane

It’s always amusing to hear a man brag about his penis size, all boasting and prideful. Honey, you did nothing to deserve that dick — you were just born with it. It’s a penis, not a Pulitzer. Spare us the proud parent act and actually accomplish something worth bragging about (bringing another person to orgasm is a nice, reachable goal to start with).

[caption id="attachment_2455" align="alignnone" width="225"]iujk All shapes and sizes[/caption]

There’s one dude who can boast about his peen, and that’s because it’s won awards. Jonah Falcon of Brooklyn, NY (ladies……) holds the world record for biggest dick, at 15.5 inches. I know this because some guy friends (always guys talking about other guys’ penises, put money on it) were discussing it yesterday. Then one of them got all visual with it, demonstrating what 13.5 inches looks like using a tape measure and can I tell you that is big.

I don’t mean to dick shame here… but that is too, too big for me (keywords: FOR ME). My holes are not one size fits all, OK? And I’m sure poor Jonah has come across many girls like me in his day. It can’t be easy, having a dick so large and imposing. That’s why when guys brag about their penis size I’m just like, SILENCE, FOOL. SPEAK NOT OF WHAT YOU DON’T KNOW. THE BURDEN OF THE BIG DICKED IS NOT YOURS TO CARRY.

[caption id="attachment_2451" align="alignnone" width="300"]65yhnbfg Small limp dick[/caption]

Because really, a too-big dick is maybe the only time size might take sex right off the table. Even a small one I can work with, I would at least see what we could get done. If it’s larger than a bread box, we’re gonna have problems. Guys are so afraid that their dick might be on the small-ish side, but it’s the big boys who carry the weight of their humongous penises on their shoulders (no, not literally. Don’t try to envision this, it won’t work).

[caption id="attachment_2450" align="alignnone" width="209"]9ikfd Hottie with a little guy[/caption]

I’ve had sex with — no, a relationship with — a short dick man. A real one, none of this body dysmorphic shit all men seem to have when it comes to their penis size, this was an honest to god man with a really small dick! We weren't working with much here, 3 inches hard ladies, and we had a rocky beginning, sexually. But once we found our groove (read: the correct positions), the sex was good. The penis size was of no consequence (and giving head was a dream). The relationship didn't last, but it wasn't because of his small dick.

[caption id="attachment_2452" align="alignnone" width="279"]h545eg Kissing the little one[/caption]

The facts cannot be disputed: Bigger and fatter to a degree is nice, but big dick does not equal good dick. My one wish for men is that they wouldn't stress over their size — unless it’s really big, because it makes everything from sex to fashion difficult to navigate. (And I’m not saying they should stress, just saying I’d understand why. See also: women with naturally large boobs.) Unlike boobs, though, your penis size is not going to change. The only thing that can change is what you do with it — and that applies to penises of all shapes and sizes.

[caption id="attachment_2453" align="alignnone" width="200"]ik09 How to measure it[/caption]

[caption id="attachment_2454" align="alignnone" width="300"]iuhjkl Amazing changes[/caption]

I’m not going to say size doesn't matter, because there are obviously differences and the couple in question needs to treat those differences accordingly in order to have good sex. But what all men (and women) should focus on is how they make their partner feel, and how they feel with their partner. I haven’t encountered a dick so large that I ran away screaming (yet), but I’d like to think that I’d try to work with it, if the guy were worth it. I’d also like to think that ladies will give a small fellow a chance before writing him off completely. And I’d like to think that the guys in the middle can accept that they don’t need to brag — or even think — about how they measure up. It all comes down to chemistry and movement, not length and girth. That, and loving your damn dick for what it is.

After all, how can I love your dick if you don’t?
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Comments

  1. TheShitShowThatIsMyLifeFebruary 5, 2014 at 11:05 AM

    I've turned down really large dicks before, at least two that I can recall. I remember just claiming "there's no way this will fit" and heard a "yes it will" and without further a do, no-go.

    I've always said something similar to every guy I've dated who mustered up something along the lines of "my dick isn't that big though". No, it's not. You should be really thankful it's not because that must be really sad.

    I'm about to say it, but : Poor guys with giant dicks.

    ReplyDelete
  2. GirlaroundtheblockFebruary 5, 2014 at 3:43 PM

    You didn't miss out. I have been around the block a few times and so far the two guys with big ones, and I'm talking porn star like ones that I let fuck me both where horrible in bed. Maybe if they both had knew how to use it, it would have been a dream come true. All I got out of it was a sore twat and a bruised cervix. I am dating a man now that has what I would call a small dick not the 3 inches the writer talks about but maybe 5 inches at full attention at best. Now this man works at making me feel good! He is uses every inch of his tool, including his mind mouth, tongue, fingers and more. I'll take an eagr beaver small man any day.

    ReplyDelete
  3. HeatherFebruary 7, 2014 at 9:35 AM

    Just above average works for all occasions for me.

    ReplyDelete
  4. justaguyFebruary 22, 2014 at 10:48 AM

    I was told how it looks is what women notice more than size unless off course its overly small or overly big

    ReplyDelete

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