Bondage is often associated with black leather and a guy with a zipper mask. The fact of the matter is that bondage doesn’t have to be something out of a horror movie. There are a lot of couples that get off on bondage and lead very normal lives.
Although there are those couples out there that tie each other up in chains or with other materials, you don’t have to do this in order to experience this kind of sex. If you have an interest in moving up in the scene, you need to understand the basics first.
What Is Bondage?
Bondage is basically the restraint of one partner as to not impede on the actions of the other partner. Many people love bondage because it allows them to relinquish control of what is happening to them. They don’t have to make decisions and they can be used for kinky sex.
They can also be teased in this position and not be able to do anything about it. Giving away all control is a turn on to a lot of men and women. If you are one of them then you need to start out with a basic understanding of what bondage is and what it is not. This does not have to do with whips or humiliation. Although Bondage is a part of BDSM, it is only a small part.
1. Establish Some Ground Rules
The ground rules should be set before you tie up your partner or before your partner ties you up. The ground rules are essential to knowing the limits of what you and your partner can do while either of your is inhibited. If you are a little afraid of being tied up, you might want to pretend for first time or make the restraints loose enough to get out of.
Talk to your partner about what they want. Do they want their legs tied, their arms tied or a blindfold? Determine what you are comfortable with also. You might have a rule that they can only tease you when you are tied up but that they have to let you go before you have sex. Discuss anything that is going to make you uncomfortable with your partner and have them do the same so you are on the same page.
2. Use Safety Measures
There are a few terms that you should be familiar with. The bondage scene uses Safe, Sane And Consensual (SSC) and Risk Aware Consensual Kink (RACK). These basically mean that you should always have consensual play with your partner and you should never be impaired by drugs or alcohol. Come up with a safe word to say if you are feeling uncomfortable and make sure that it’s something you would never use in the moment.
3. Get Tied Down
Now that you have all of that out of the way, it’s time to get tied down. Since you’re a beginner you probably don’t have all of the equipment needed. Get a couple of pairs of pantyhose and tie your partner to the bedpost or have her tie you to the bedpost.
Use a simple knot that will hold, but a knot that you could ultimately break if needed. If you want to start out slow, simply tie their hands together without securing them to the bed.
4. Use Some Objects
A feather is the easiest way to get started. It can feel good and it’s very teasing. Run the feather up and down your partner’s body or have them run the feather up and down your body. Tease them with the feather until they are begging for you. At this point, don’t give in.
The feather is most widely used object for teasing, but you can also use different sex toys. A feather is going to be enough for a guy, but a vibrator works very well with women. Run the vibrator over her nipples and her down her thigh. Don’t put it on her clitoris or inside her just yet. Wait until she is sucking in her stomach.
This is an involuntary refllex to try to get you to put the vibrator on her. Gradually work the vibrator around her clitoris and watch as she tugs on the restraints. Always follow the rules when you’re using objects or sex toys.
This form of sex is a fun way to put a little kink into the relationship. If you have an interest in bondage, following this simple guide will give you a crash course in what you like and what you don’t like. Remember to keep to the rules and never do anything that you or your partner is uncomfortable with.
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