Whispering almost any naughty line to a guy is the sexual equivalent of 3-D glasses—it heightens the entire experience for him. But after talking to a bunch of men recently, we learned there are four specific words every man longs to hear the most. The phrase that unleashes his lust? ‘I want you now’. We asked experts why that is, and here they explain the reasons...
It Shocks the Hell Out of Him
Hearing those words when you’re unzipping his pants or aggressively pushing him down on the bed does mind-melting things to a guy, sure, but if uttered someplace completely innocuous, like the park, they are even hotter. “That line out of context, when he least expects it, triggers his desire instantly,” says psychotherapist Stephen Johnson, Ph.D., director of the Men’s Centre of Los Angeles.
“When a guy is erotically surprised, it actually causes his brain to release endorphins and neurotransmitters like norepinephrine and dopamine that affect his mood and put him in a physiological state of arousal.” In addition, because the phrase is so blunt, it taps in to racy fantasies that most men have about raw, spontaneous, even animalistic action.
Here’s the thing, though: you need to be strategic when you say it. You want that shock factor, but then it’s also key to repeat the phrase when you’re back between the sheets to drive the point home that you’re actually going to make good on your promise. “If you whisper the magic words when there’s no way you can have sex in the near future—as you’re walking out the door to go on vacation with friends or during a trip with your parents—it’s crying wolf,” says sex therapist Sadie Allison, author of Ride ’Em Cowgirl.
It Lets Him Know You’re in Charge
When you make that kind of sexual advance, he reads it as your being aggressive. This is especially true if you repeat the line in bed, because it reinforces that you initiated the night of fun. “Many guys’ number-one wish is to be slightly dominated by a woman,” says Johnson. Not only will your take-charge attitude rile him up, but you’ll also love what it does to you. “When a woman goes after what she wants and gets it, it makes her feel powerful,” says Allison. “And power is very erotic.”
Finally, it can be easy to forget that dudes need to feel desired as well. When you say those words, it tells him just that. “Men are socialised and trained to let women know how hot they are,” says Warren Farrell, Ph.D., author of Why Men Are The Way They Are. “Guys want that too—they want to know that it’s not just sex she wants; it’s him. With this, you’re implying that you want him so badly, you can’t wait...and honestly, that makes him feel like a god.”
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