By guest blogger: theshitshowthatismylife
theshitshowthatismylife.wordpress.com
Anal sex can be amazing, but it doesn’t have to be like it is in porn.
The first time I ever had anal sex was with Terry. Luckily for me, Terry had a really small dick. Unfortunately his nickname between my friends and I was ‘The Tard’. Yes, I realize that isn’t PC, but whatever.
Terry drove this doom buggy that was neon blue and sparkly. Okay, maybe it wasn’t sparkly, but it sounds better when I remember it that way. He was also 18 and I had just turned 15 so my parents were fucking thrilled. Well one day we were having some of the worst sex of my life, and Terry stuck it in the wrong hole, on ‘accident’. He was making no mistake and was aiming directly for my asshole. I felt no pain, but also no pleasure. Our sex was awful to put it quite plainly throughout our stint of dating.
I was introduced to anal sex having no feelings on the matter. What was wonderful about this was that it left me open to the idea. All women (and definitely men) should be open to the idea of anal sex or at least some anal play. You may be thinking right now to yourself, ‘nope, never, not for me’. Well fine, but you’re missing out on more than you know. I didn’t really get into anal sex until I started drinking too much towards the end of high school. This is probably two-fold in that 1. It’s much easier to have anal sex when drunk because the pain is lessened and 2. The more sex I had, the more I ran into men who wanted to try anal sex. I didn’t fall in love with anal sex until college. Yes, you can fall in love with anal sex. My boyfriend at the time and I did quite a bit of experimenting with anal sex. We learned which positions felt the best, what toys were most useful, and how to make it as enjoyable as possible.
Therefore, with everything I know, here are my 10 Rules on Anal Sex:
1. Lube. This is an absolute requirement.
2. Go slow. If you attempt to shove your dick straight into my ass at full speed I will kill you.
3. Girls should try getting on top. (Totally understandable if the first time you’d rather have the guy in control, just DO NOT SKIP #1 and #2). When on top you get to control the speed, and depth, which are both extremely important.
4. Buy and use toys! Definitely also use them in combination with sex. Anal beads or butt plugs can be used while a guy fucks you for double your pleasure, and it makes a tighter fit for him.
5. The whole cum in the asshole thing is really overrated. I know in porn the girls act super excited about it and they spread their cheeks and push it out. This is so awful. What actually happens is you go to the bathroom and sit there while it drips out. I have so much respect for gay men who have this happen to them constantly, I cannot.
6. Do not go from anal to vaginal back and forth. You will get a UTI. You will be pissed. (Pun not intended, but definitely accepted)
7. You can definitely still orgasm from anal sex. In fact, one of the very few times I’ve squirted in my life happened during anal sex. It was amazing and impressive.
8. That being said, it does/can hurt. Especially at first, which is why again #1 and #2 are crucial. However, after you get used to it in the first few minutes, the pain quickly diminishes to none.
9. Make it romantic, or dirty. Just like the rest of sex, anal isn’t specifically for ‘bad girls who need to be taught a lesson’. You can love me and have your dick in my ass simultaneously. Maybe your girlfriend (or all girls) would be more open to the idea if she didn’t think anal sex was only for dirty skanks.
10. Relax, enjoy, and stop thinking about a dick being in your ass like it’s something that shouldn’t be happening. It should be happening, it’s wonderful.
theshitshowthatismylife.wordpress.com
Anal sex can be amazing, but it doesn’t have to be like it is in porn.
The first time I ever had anal sex was with Terry. Luckily for me, Terry had a really small dick. Unfortunately his nickname between my friends and I was ‘The Tard’. Yes, I realize that isn’t PC, but whatever.
Terry drove this doom buggy that was neon blue and sparkly. Okay, maybe it wasn’t sparkly, but it sounds better when I remember it that way. He was also 18 and I had just turned 15 so my parents were fucking thrilled. Well one day we were having some of the worst sex of my life, and Terry stuck it in the wrong hole, on ‘accident’. He was making no mistake and was aiming directly for my asshole. I felt no pain, but also no pleasure. Our sex was awful to put it quite plainly throughout our stint of dating.
I was introduced to anal sex having no feelings on the matter. What was wonderful about this was that it left me open to the idea. All women (and definitely men) should be open to the idea of anal sex or at least some anal play. You may be thinking right now to yourself, ‘nope, never, not for me’. Well fine, but you’re missing out on more than you know. I didn’t really get into anal sex until I started drinking too much towards the end of high school. This is probably two-fold in that 1. It’s much easier to have anal sex when drunk because the pain is lessened and 2. The more sex I had, the more I ran into men who wanted to try anal sex. I didn’t fall in love with anal sex until college. Yes, you can fall in love with anal sex. My boyfriend at the time and I did quite a bit of experimenting with anal sex. We learned which positions felt the best, what toys were most useful, and how to make it as enjoyable as possible.
Therefore, with everything I know, here are my 10 Rules on Anal Sex:
1. Lube. This is an absolute requirement.
2. Go slow. If you attempt to shove your dick straight into my ass at full speed I will kill you.
3. Girls should try getting on top. (Totally understandable if the first time you’d rather have the guy in control, just DO NOT SKIP #1 and #2). When on top you get to control the speed, and depth, which are both extremely important.
4. Buy and use toys! Definitely also use them in combination with sex. Anal beads or butt plugs can be used while a guy fucks you for double your pleasure, and it makes a tighter fit for him.
5. The whole cum in the asshole thing is really overrated. I know in porn the girls act super excited about it and they spread their cheeks and push it out. This is so awful. What actually happens is you go to the bathroom and sit there while it drips out. I have so much respect for gay men who have this happen to them constantly, I cannot.
6. Do not go from anal to vaginal back and forth. You will get a UTI. You will be pissed. (Pun not intended, but definitely accepted)
7. You can definitely still orgasm from anal sex. In fact, one of the very few times I’ve squirted in my life happened during anal sex. It was amazing and impressive.
8. That being said, it does/can hurt. Especially at first, which is why again #1 and #2 are crucial. However, after you get used to it in the first few minutes, the pain quickly diminishes to none.
9. Make it romantic, or dirty. Just like the rest of sex, anal isn’t specifically for ‘bad girls who need to be taught a lesson’. You can love me and have your dick in my ass simultaneously. Maybe your girlfriend (or all girls) would be more open to the idea if she didn’t think anal sex was only for dirty skanks.
10. Relax, enjoy, and stop thinking about a dick being in your ass like it’s something that shouldn’t be happening. It should be happening, it’s wonderful.
Reblogged this on theshitshowthatismylife and commented:
ReplyDeleteLadies and gentlemen: I wrote about something very dear to me.
Here's a post on my love for anal sex featured on a wonderful sex blog. Guest blogging all over this week.
Good points on a topic that is rarely openly discussed. There are two or three points I would add. 1) Anal sex works better, I believe, if there is extensive foreplay that leads to arousal. The more aroused the easier anal sex works. 2) Anal sex cannot be rushed. 3) Communication is essential. I believe the woman needs to be confident and open about communicating her needs. Plus her partner needs to be willing to take her direction.
ReplyDeleteYou hit it on the nose with #5 ....it's like getting a full on enema because not only do you have to worry about slowly dripping out, depending on the guys load you could find yourself having to use the bathroom like never before. I've learned through the years that if I know that there is a possibility of anal sex I will take a colon cleanser a couple days before hand.....because there is nothing worse than having to break up a date early by the sudden urge to unload his load and then some. ~ great tips!!
ReplyDeleteThank you both for reading!
ReplyDeleteHappy to be talking about what people don't talk about often enough!
Reblogged this on My secret pain and commented:
ReplyDeleteShe couldn't have said it any better!!
Take me in, one quarter impulse power, Mr. Sulu.
ReplyDeleteActually, the NCC MyDick has never explored the asshole nebula....not that I am afraid of it. It's just if someone is also offering a well executed BJ, well, I'm usually directed to that port of entry as my first choice.
I'm glad ladies talk about this though. It's not like it is taboo...it's just something to do once in awhile with someone you love. I do think the men a bit younger, the generation after me, have seemingly become a bit obsessed with the backdoor... I think some blame porn...probably a big part. I think it is just a cultural change in that women are freer/looser to be as big as whores as men have traditionally been. The asshole is the new vagina to conquer, since many a man has explored the vagina galaxy already.
I always imagine in my anal sex fantasies while masturbating, the semen would just sort of disappear into the abyss...would have thought the gallon of lube would have been the drippage source....you know better than me though! I'll revise my fantasy to imagining her on the toilet in my masturbation afterglow.
#4!!! bf will fuck my ass Since he is smaller and use my dildo on my pussy at the same time It damn hot!
ReplyDelete