When it comes to great sex, size does matter—but not in the way most of us think, says Darius Paduch, Ph.D., director of Sexual Health and Medicine at Weill Cornell Medical College. A bigger penis in no way guarantees a bigger orgasm for a woman. A more modestly sized guy who knows how to use his penis well can help a woman achieve a better orgasm than a man who has a penis porn stars would envy, Paduch says.
Plus, it’s not just size: Shape is just as important to figure out which sex positions will curl your toes, which may be painful for the woman, and how much manual clitoral stimulation she’ll need. So rather than getting caught up in specific measurements or making comparisons—which are likely to create anxiety that will interfere with bedroom performance and pleasure—maximize your man. There are positions and fun skills that will make sex mind-blowing for you and your partner, no matter how hung or bendy his member is. Which kind of tool does your man have? There are three general categories.
The Churro
The same thin girth from base to tip, length varies
One of the reasons women enjoy penetrative sex is the fullness factor, says sex educator Patti Britton, Ph.D., M.P.H. So when a guy has a thin penis, his partner may not be able to feel him against her vaginal walls. And if she’s delivered children vaginally or is heavier, her vaginal walls may have widened or become looser, meaning he won’t feel very stimulated either, Paduch says.
Your action plan: If a guy has a thin penis, it’s best for the woman to keep her thighs close together, says Keesha Ewers, Ph.D., a functional sexologist. This narrows her vaginal canal, creating more friction and intensifying sensations for both partners. Doggy style is a great position, especially if he stimulates her clitoris with his hands at the same time since most women need some form of clitoral stimulation in order to orgasm, Britton says. If he’s on the longer side, Ewers suggests trying the bandolier. The woman lies on her back so he can enter her while on his knees—that way, she can tuck her knees together and place her feet on his chest. This not only tightens the vagina, it also lets her control how far he penetrates, which can prevent him from hitting her cervix and causing pain.
The Italian Salami
Above-average girth and length
He might be the envy of some guys in the locker room, but a guy who’s well-endowed often has to proceed carefully during intercourse. He may fear hurting his partner so much that he avoids penetration altogether, Paduch says. Men tend to thrust harder and deeper when they’re in the heat of the moment, so a bigger guy can hit a woman’s cervix and cause pain, Britton says. On the upside, since a woman’s clit is very close to the vaginal opening, a magnum penis is more likely than smaller members to push up against the clitoris during intercourse and give her that added stimulation, Paduch says.
Your action plan: The key with a big penis is making sure the woman can control the angle, depth, and pace of thrusting, Britton says. Woman on top, with her squatting or kneeling, is going to give her the ability to lower herself down and choose how deep she wants to go. And because the frenulum (underside of the penis head) has the densest nerve endings, more shallow penetration won’t affect his ability to come.
Spooning is also ideal because he can’t enter too far, plus it gives him easy access to fondle her breasts and clitoris, helping increase her arousal (and chances of orgasm) as she adjusts to his size, Ewers says. Whatever positions you prefer, have lube on hand—with a big guy, it’s nonnegotiable, Paduch says.
The Cucumber
Average girth and length; doesn’t vary in girth along the shaft
Talk about getting lucky: Almost every position is a good one for cucumber penises, because most women can easily accommodate average-sized members.
Your action plan: Go ahead, bust out the Kama Sutra and see what you two like best. Also keep in mind that men respond very well to visual stimuli, and the more aroused they are, the firmer and thicker they get, making sex hotter for both partners, Britton says. So any position where he can get a full frontal view of her body is going to do you both good. Britton suggests standing doggy in front of a full-length mirror. He penetrates her from behind, enjoying watching her from many angles at the same time and giving her breasts some love.
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