You caught him what?

"I just caught my husband masturbating. I am shocked. I thought we had a normal sex life, but there he was in the shower, dick in hand whacking it. Gross, Why does he need to do that? Is it normal to masturbate even if you have a robust sex life?" This is a for real email from a reader, and it's not the only one like this so I'll answer it.

Let's just talk about men for a second. I found a survey that says 45 percent of men in this big national survey admitted to masturbating. Now the other 55 percent were just lying. 'Cause I can tell ya... that's what men do. I'm not a doctor, or scientist or even a man but come on every man I talked to said - yes they jack off, a lot. So, here's the deal though about men and masturbating... Masturbation is actually good for them. It milks the prostate, which has toxins that build up in it. As a man you're supposed to be able to ejaculate as a way to release these toxins - ideally you do it in the midst of a sexual relationship, but once in a while there are very healthy, benign reasons to do it, like do we really need men running around all pent up cause they need to cum.

In terms of the frequency men should or should not be stroking it, and I'm still surprised that 50 percent of you readers that wrote in thought it ought to be done relatively infrequently. The definition of how much you do is based on how you feel. If you feel energized by your sex life and he's masturbating on top of it, and he still feels energized and is fucking you that's fine. But if he's gettin' back pain from doing it too much, and he's droopy (yes... like can't get his dick hard), and sleepy and not interested - then maybe you should be concerned.

If as women we have been liberated and we can masturbate and shove all kinds of wonderful toys up our Vag then who cares if you're man is yanking his hose every so often - and besides it's not gross and you need to instead ask if he needs some help or you can watch. Grow up!

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