The penis size debate from a former prostitute

We get questions all the time still about penis size, so we asked Sara The Sex Lady who has plenty of experience to just help us out again.

Before I start I will just upfront say I have probably slept with over 250-300 men, and yes I can tell you they come in all shapes and sizes, and no you can't figure out who's packin' and who's not reliably without dropping the pants. Seen them big on small men and small on big men, black and white it all is a guessing game.

Why so many men? Well for those of you that don't know, when I was younger I made a bad choice to go into the prostitution profession. At 42 I have been done with that for many, many years, but sexually I have always been open. I now council those same girls, and I assist couples in sex therapy sessions. Before we get into this whole penis size debate, again I need women reading this to understand that most men, no matter what age frankly don’t know how to fuck! But... older men are usually better, and out of all the men I have been with I have less than a dozen I could really recall as something special, and only 3 that where in my amazing category that really where great fucks! and fucking is what we are talking about here not LOVE great sex!

Out of the 12 half only half would be what I would call “hung well”, over 8 inches and nice and thick. Several of the half could be considered monsters in the 10 inch plus category. What’s the biggest I have had… 13 inches long maybe even more girls! I'm not lying, it really was and decent thickness, it was longer than the ruler I used to measure it and it was basically like my arm! It was not the thickest though, had once nearly 10 inches around, and took both hands to hold it, and still it was maybe 10 inches!

Can it be to small? Yes! I have been with several that probably really are abnormalities more than anything else, not just small. I have seen proably 10 or 15 tiny dicks that where maybe 2 inches hard and no they didn't really work well at all since they don't really go inside you much. I have seen even seen a few 3 and 4 inchers that felt more like a finger in there, mainly because those 3 and 4 inchers where also skinny. But again those are abnomalities those men can not help, it's not just a regular small penis. What is a regular small penis to me? I'd say 4 inches long hard and an inch around would be regular but small.

Can they be to big? Well yes, but that's because the man can't use his tool and usually that can be overcome. So again, like I have said for years, about 5 inches is really what you need in length in my opinion and some decent girth. I think the average penis as has always been reported as 5.2 inches long and 3.5 inches around and that should do just fine.

Back to my lovers again, so out of 12... yes about 6 where big, about 6 where not, a few where small even 3, maybe 4 inches erect, but great lovers. They just knew how to move it. The rest where average. In fact most men really are average.

About those three that really stand out, well yes they were all big ones you could say. It was the perfect combination though, big package and they knew how to use it. How big where they, I had an 8 incher and thick. I had a 10 incher and really thick, and I had about a 9 incher and decently thick. Who was best, hard to tell they all three felt different in me and where different lovers. If I had to choose? Mr. 10 and really thick was great. Thickness is where it really matters in most cases, the 13 incher was to much deep pressure but 10 was pretty good since he knew not to just bang it in every time. I felt filled up, and when you’re with someone that size they have an advantage in that they hit your G-Spot in any position and they also massage some deep tissue nerve endings.

More importantly, it matters if it’s just hard and erect than anything, I learned I could usually get a man in the position I needed him after that. Like I said I had some frankly small men that twisted me into a pretzel and then hammered away and it was great!

Genital worries are part of being in the sex game, and given the competitive nature of, mating and the sexual playing field, it’s not immature to wonder if your sexual equipment is up to par. When it comes to the penis, size does matter to most women, about 10-12% of women it won’t matter at all because they do not and will not orgasm through vaginal intercourse no matter what the penis size or shape is or how that man may move it.

The size and performance of your penis could be an indicator of your overall health. As far as what we girls want from a penis, some girls will say otherwise, but it’s not a sex myth that penis size does matters to a point. To put it bluntly, women want and need to feel a certain amount of pressure inside a vagina during intercourse, and from a scientific standpoint we women have amount 10X more nerve endings in and around our vagina than a penis has.

Most women will tell you they want that penis to fit tight and they want it to activate the G-spot, and trigger deep orgasms that seem to start at the womb and work their way throughout the body! You need at least about 4 inches to reach the G-Spot and there are deep organ tissues with nerve endings that reach about 8 inches deep inside us. If you show a women a series of photos of penises or ask them to pick out an ideal dildo size most women in just about every study I have seen most women will go for a penis about 8 inches in length and 6 ½ inches around. No… they won’t go for the largest because women know there is a fine line between pleasure and pain they don’t want to cross. Out of all the men I have been with the largest have never been the best, and even myself would choose about 8 inches and that 6 ½ around. Now with that said I have slept with a few horses 10 inches long and 8 inches around that really knew how to be careful with what God gave them and it was wonderful, but horse dick on an untrained man is really not worth the trouble my cervix will have.

The desire for a large, hard penis comes from evolutionary biology and sociobiology: survival of the fittest for a primate species (humans are primates) means that females should breed with the strongest, biggest, most sexually vigorous males. This, along with other factors, ensures maximum genetic success in primate reproduction. If a man has a small penis, it can mean a lot of things to a woman. Some of those things the girl’s vagina or brain perceives subconsciously, but she is sometimes aware of them as a vague dissatisfaction. A small penis could mean the man is not naturally endowed with a large penis. Or that a man is not fully aroused. Or that he has had sex too many times in the recent past, and is worn out. Or that he has vascular issues that prevent optimum blood flow to the penis. Or that he has testosterone problems and is low in virility. Or all of the above! None of those small penis problems are what the evolutionary survival-oriented brain and vagina of a female wants.... What she wants is big, rock-hard, long-lasting, fully-aroused. That’s not a social or cultural overlay: it’s hardwired into most primates, including us. A girl also doesn’t want a guy whose penis is so long and wide, or whose sexual intercourse technique is so rough, that it hurts her when he thrusts in. And there’s the factor of matching the size and safety needs of the male and female. Some women’s vaginas are naturally larger, others have been stretched out due to childbearing or too much intercourse, others are too loose due to a lack of overall physical health and vaginal-area muscle tone. The large-vagina women might need a larger than average penis. But for many of us women who have tight vaginas that are toned and strong, too large a penis actually hurts.

A girl can perceive that she's feeling the thing pushing through too much, and it’s not fun. If a girl is giving you a blow job, and you thrust too hard or have too big a penis, you could damage her throat, or choke her. Not sexy! On a psychological level, when you put your penis into a woman and she can’t hardly feel it’s in there, her mind is trying to figure it out. What’s going on, she’s asking herself. The baseline is she’s not totally satisfied with that penis...she wants to feel that thing fully in there, especially if she’s a master masturbator and is used to filling herself up with a sex toy or her fingers. The nerves and muscles that support the vagina are like a tensionometer that reports back to her if the male organ is big enough, tough enough and thrusting enough. If not, it’s a let-down. Then the woman subconsciously or consciously starts to worry. Why isn’t he big enough? Is he not aroused? Am I not turning him on enough? Is it just the way his penis is? Is he having sex with other girls and all tired out by the time he gets to me? Is there some health problem he has? Is he gay? Trust me, guys, we do ask ourselves those questions during sex if the penis isn’t big enough. It can cause some girls fake orgasms…the penis isn’t big enough to generate real friction and clitoral stimulation, the guy’s insertion technique is weak, and then your mind starts to wondering, and it takes you off the orgasm build-up track. So you fake it, just to not hurt the guy's feelings, or to get him off of you! Girls do worry about those things when you’re not hard and big. It’s female human nature. Now keep in mind though, non of this may occure even if the guy is small but he is hard and there is a real connection there emotionally and physically.

Of course, guys get it that size does matter, that performance matters, that staying hard until the woman has a lot of orgasms matters. Guys fear premature ejaculation, which by the way is way more of an issue than how big it is, men should practice overcoming… well cumming to soon that with getting a big penis. I would say 90% of my clients where done within 2 minutes on most visits, and frankly most men don’t last more than about 12 minutes, and science backs this up.

Men have lots of fears, they fear not being able to get it up, or keep it up. Not just older guys, but younger guys too. And with these fears we’ve seen the rise of Viagra, and before that we saw potions, penis weights, and exercises (usually sold to you in the back of comic books, Playboy, or Hustler) that allegedly would make you have a larger penis or a longer-lasting erection. Sorry to break the news to all those slick penis-booster marketers who sell penis-boosting herbs. machinery, and exercises, but that stuff is junk. And in the case of some penis-enlarging potions, equipment or exercises, guys can damage themselves severely. Yes, Viagra will make you erect and keep you erect if you’re already aroused, but it won’t make your penis bigger that it would normally be during arousal, and it has serious side effects. Some desperate folks resort to penis-enlargement surgery, but this most often increases girth, not length, and as with most surgery, it can have really dangerous side effects and outcomes. Worse yet, studies show that guys who’ve had the surgery say they aren’t seeing an increase in the pleasure they get from intercourse, or the pleasure their sex partners get either. Men, stop doing stupid shit to your cock!

So what’s a guy to do? One safe way to possibly make your penis as large and as hard as possible for as long as possible is to get as physically fit as possible. Anything healthy you can do to lose fat, gain cardiovascular strength, increase muscle ratio, decrease bodyfat ratio, quit smoking cigarettes, avoid alcohol and sedating drugs…the better chance your penis has of getting full-strength arousal signals from your brain, and a hefty amount of blood, so your penis works well and swells to its maximum size. Another thing: stop masturbating. Let yourself build up a potent sexual charge, and rely on intercourse for your ejaculations, not your hand! And while it’s overemphasized in magazines like Cosmopolitan and in men’s magazines, size isn’t absolutely everything... Most females aren’t so large penis-addicted that your allegedly “small” penis is a complete, immediate deal breaker in a sexual relationship or a love relationship. There’s plenty you can do to give your woman massive, bed-shaking orgasms, even if you have a small penis, or even erectile dysfunction problems.

Of course you should learn to how to expertly give oral sex to a woman, learn this and more than half your problem is solved, again as with sex most men I find can’t eat pussy very good! Just licking my clit really fast won’t do it at all, just like women can’t suck a cock all that great and need to learn, men you need to focus on how to stimulate her orally. You can also use sex toys and fingers to stimulate her and give her orgasms so your penis is the icing on the cake, rather than her having to rely on your penis as the main menu. I council couples all the time about introducing toys in the relationship. Women are afraid to make a guy feel bad about him using a vibrator on her or her using one on herself. That’s just BS people, it the whole experience who cares how you get there. I had a women tell me she loves making love to her husband but he’s small and she wanted to get a large dildo and have her husband use it on her but she was afraid to ask him. I told her to make it his idea somehow and when she did just that he was the one that brought it home and used it on her and she told me he was thrilled he had another way to make her feel good. She said she had waited years and years to somehow bring that up. And guys can study up on intercourse techniques and positions that maximize the angle effects and penetration vectors so a small penis can still do the job. Another thing that helps is for the woman to use the penis as a living, attached vibrator or dildo. If she can’t get the sensation inside that she wants, she can sure have fun with it by taking it and rubbing it on her clit and labia. Girls, you can help your man by being compassionate, creative and humane. Girls who’ve had small breasts or not-so-heavenly vaginas, or ugly faces, or are obese know what it’s like to worry about not being loved, desired…about being rejected because of one’s body features. Well girls, when it comes to penis size, take that fear of rejection and multiply by a factor of a thousand. Because if a guy has a smaller than average penis, or he gets in bed with you and is unable to get it up and keep it up so you get vaginal orgasms during intercourse, he could feel embarrassed, sad, or seriously miserable. Some maladjusted guys might get angry or defensive with you if you tell them their penis is too small. I’ve known girls who were beaten by a man for telling him he had a small penis. Watch out…some men are violent! It’s a harsh world for men when it comes to penis size, and we women don’t need to make it even more cruel, nor do we want to risk getting beaten up. I hope all men and women realize that the size and status of your genitals isn’t the only factor that determines whether you have great sex with lots of orgasms. Big penis, small penis, average penis or huge donkey dong penis, it’s what’s attached to the penis that counts, and being a big dick won’t get you any women in bed.

So does a big dick count for more pleasure? Yes, big dicks in the right “hands” no pun intended are great, but they don’t make the lover, they may only make a good one night stand, and it’s not just the biggest cock in the chicken coop that gets the hens. Should I seek out a big dick at least once? That's like asking a man if he should feels some big boobs at least once! Sure, if you think you need to try once once go ahead, it wont be a garantee for pleasure though, but big ones are fun to look at and play with, just like big boobs, but I have never seen or heard a women passing over a good man for a big dick!

Sara The Sex Lady