[caption id="attachment_2365" align="alignnone" width="232"]
The ready wife[/caption]
By: Guest writer - Heather Middlestein, author of: I still fuck my husband like I was dating him
Quick Note: This article operates under the assumption that you are married to a good man that you, you know, like. I do not advocate getting down and dirty with abusers, chauvinists or losers. Shocking, I know. Also? For some of you the every day bit might be out of the question. Okay. No biggie. Just make intimacy (of all kinds) a regular part of your life. Even if he is the one not wanting to slip it in every night, just make time for being together.
I was getting a manicure the first time I learned that not all wives want to, ahem, go for a roll in the hay with their husbands. I was sixteen and had picked out orange nail polish (oh, sixteen). I had a book with me but it wasn't long before I found another source of entertainment. In between buffing and polishing, the two women next to me talked about how much their husbands wanted IT and how little they wanted to give IT. I overheard of they sometimes give it up but only on certain occasions and only when they want it. The talk of giving a blowjob to there men was a topic of humor for them, they both then laughed and said "I'm married I don't have to do that". One commented "He still needs to take care of me down there though if he expects to get in here." For a girl that had not even been asked out on a date this was a whole new world. And I had a suspicion that their experience was more realistic than the articles I sneaky read in Cosmo while getting my hair done at the salon. (I am supposed to put my hand WHERE? while simultaneously doing WHAT?) So I kept my eyes on my book, let the words blur into lines and listened closely.
“Doesn't he know how tired I am by the end of the day? As if after the kids are finally asleep I have the energy to do anything but sit down and watch some TV.”
“For me, it isn't even the energy it takes. I am still losing weight from the baby. I don’t feel sexy. I can hardly undress in front of a mirror, let alone in front of him. I honestly think it is selfish that he expects me to pretend to feel something that I don’t.”
“Selfish? That’s a good word. Maybe if he took care of the kids when he got home or made dinner once in a while I would be more interested. Hell, just pick up the milk on the way home from work. I am not asking for much. Now that I think about it, I don’t think we have done it in the last five weeks.”
[caption id="attachment_2427" align="alignnone" width="300"]
Giving it to her[/caption]
“Yeah. It’s been at least three for us, and he's not very good at it anymore anyways”.
Wait. These women were married…they lived with a guy….who slept in their bed. They could have sex all the time! And they didn't want to? It made no sense…like turning down a zero calorie but as delicious as creme brulee dessert. (Or at least I assumed. At that point everything I knew about romance was gleaned from Anne of Green Gables and Moulin Rouge.) How sad. How wasteful. How stupid. When I got married, I would always want to have sex with my husband! And I would never be too tired. My goodness, it was just ridiculous to want him to bring home a gallon of milk just to prove he cared. Wasn't it just like a woman to make a grocery run a test of love. I suddenly then tohught of all the hatred for married men who cheat... then thought to myself no wonder they cheat, if there wives thought this way and acted like this. Even at 16 I had figured out than boys liked sex for what it was. As the final coat of polish was applied to my nails, I swore to never be like them. My life would be different. I would be better. I would never feel too fat or too tired. Ever.
And then I grew up.
Intercourse, carnal knowledge, lovemaking, knocking boots, coitus, SEX! is everything sixteen year old me imagined plus a little whipped cream on top. (Whipped cream, see what I did there?) And once Riley and I got married there was lots and lots and lots of it. Then we had a baby and I really was just so tired my bones hurt. And for a while I did feel fat. Even after I lost the pregnancy weight everything just looked different. Like a cut flower that has been left out in the sun, still lovely just a little…wilted. The sex felt different after kid also, ad I found myself not as attracted him for awhile. It was the same naked man I had seen a million times. I became a little distant. We started to fall asleep without talking or kissing. And then one day while washing dishes, I realized that we had gone eleven days without touching each other. Eleven days was a quite some time for us, it had been even longer since we had sex last time and I could not recall the last time I gave him a blowjob. But the thing that bothered me the most was that I hadn't missed it. And I knew that was a problem. So that night after we put the baby to bed, I gave Riley my best come hither glance. Yes, I was tired and felt about as desirable as the “feed the birds” lady in Mary Poppins. But while drying the dishes, it occurred to me that sixteen year old Meg must have understood something about sex that twenty-something Meg had forgotten. And maybe, just maybe it was worth remembering. Suffice it to say I caught him off guard that night, I think he had given up on me also and it scared me the way he seemed to not know what to do. I then realized this is how married men end up stepping out on there wife's. The sex that night was not awesome, in fact it took him less than 2 minutes to finish but I realized how much I missed him touching me, holding me and wanting me.
[caption id="attachment_2428" align="alignnone" width="300"]
Pleasing him[/caption]
And so, without further ado….
Five Reasons You Should Have Sex with Your Husband Every Night
1. Being a mother, one of the ultimate expressions of womanhood, can often leave a girl feeling stripped of her femininity. There is something about being covered in spit up and attending to the every need of another human being that makes one feel distinctly gender neutral. Most of my days are spent playing with dolls, wiping baby food off of my clothes, changing diapers, wiping snot off of my clothes, going to the park, and wiping what-the-heavens-is-that off of my clothes. There is something restorative about kissing the boy you love. There are times in Riley’s arms when I remember who I am before I even realize I have forgotten. Yes, I am a cook, cleaner, teacher, and wiper of all things disgusting. But I am also something more, something delightful and completely apart from my roles. I am a woman! I am sexy, I have the pussy and he wants it and me! And there is potential and depth and heck, I am pretty darn good kisser, I give a damn good blowjob too. It is a lovely thing, finding yourself through the touch of someone else.
2. If you want your husband to act like a man, you need to treat him like a man. Hold the eye rolls. I am not pushing for a return to the 1950′s. (Although, heaven knows an era in which low rise jeans did not exist is basically alright by me, because I now longer look even remotely good in anything like that) Women need any number of criteria met to feel loved. Men are far simpler. They need to be fed, they need to be appreciated, and they need to have sex (see ego) That is it. Really. So make or order dinner once in a while. Say thank you for the long hours spent at work with a hug and smile when he walks through the door each night. (Better yet? Smile as you hand him the kids and walk out the door for a long, much needed break.) And my goodness, let the poor man see you naked. It amazes me even after kids how much he likes seeing me naked. I don't understand it but I'm glad he likes it. It is astounding what a good man will do for a good woman that has made him feel loved. After a few weeks of meals and make outs, you will sit back and wonder why you didn't insist on having sex every night sooner. Talk about a small investment and big returns. It does not have to be crazy sex every night either. Try something you never thought you should. Tonight look at your husband in the eyes, grab his package and tell him "if you ever just want to fuck me to get your rocks off you let me know!" I can't tell you how many times I have now had my husband tell me he needs to fuck me real fast and it's done and over. I don't have to be in the mood, I don't have to feel like it's the "right" time. Men don't care, and it's ok if you let him use you now and again - Your married for damn sake. What do I get out of? I get a sense that my man is happy, he loves me and I don't have to do anything else that night but watch TV with him now if I want to.
[caption id="attachment_2429" align="alignnone" width="300"]
Happy Ending[/caption]
3. You need to have a moment in each day that is just about the two of you. Remember that boy? The one that made your heart thump and hands sweat? The one that called when you hoped he would, that made you run hot and high up to the stars until you thought you would never come down? He is still there. Under the years and bills and worries, that smiling boy is still in love with and needs his smiling girl. Every night after the kids go to bed is a chance to find him again. A moment to remind yourself that you are living a picket fenced adventure and my goodness, there is nothing the two of you can’t do.
4. Sex relieves stress. I don’t know that this one needs much explanation. As a mother I eat stress for breakfast. So it seems to me I have a choice. I can let off steam by A) driving around at night and bashing in strangers mailboxes or B) I can get down and dirty with that one guy I married that one time. I choose option B. (So far the mailboxes in my neighborhood have escaped unscathed, so Option B must be working.)
[caption id="attachment_2430" align="alignnone" width="300"]
Finishing him off[/caption]
5. It is so much blasted fun. Seriously. Why are we so quick to refuse the good things in life? We will slog through our children’s Algebra homework, do Zumba in public and pluck the hair from our body ONE PIECE AT A TIME. But tell a girl to have sex every night and she looks at you like you are crazy, An orgasm? Every night? What do I look like? A Nymphomaniacal Super Woman?
Where is the logic in that?
Are we really too busy doing dishes to participate in an activity that is so good it has inspired genius (that saucy Shakespeare) and changed history (Okay, Helen of Troy, we get it. You were super hot)? My goodness, what a crazy way to live. Ladies, did it ever occur to you (to us!) that we should have sex because WE DESERVE IT?
Yeah, you deserve it.
So, tonight put the kids to bed. Leave the dishes in the sink and the floors unswept. They will wait. Take a moment to remember that you are the girl you hoped you would be and then go find that boy and remind him that he is the man you knew he could be. There is nothing wrong with telling him to come hither. Tell him tonight you need the kitty licked and you want it this way and that. What man would tell you no?
Rinse. Repeat.
The ready wife[/caption]By: Guest writer - Heather Middlestein, author of: I still fuck my husband like I was dating him
Quick Note: This article operates under the assumption that you are married to a good man that you, you know, like. I do not advocate getting down and dirty with abusers, chauvinists or losers. Shocking, I know. Also? For some of you the every day bit might be out of the question. Okay. No biggie. Just make intimacy (of all kinds) a regular part of your life. Even if he is the one not wanting to slip it in every night, just make time for being together.
I was getting a manicure the first time I learned that not all wives want to, ahem, go for a roll in the hay with their husbands. I was sixteen and had picked out orange nail polish (oh, sixteen). I had a book with me but it wasn't long before I found another source of entertainment. In between buffing and polishing, the two women next to me talked about how much their husbands wanted IT and how little they wanted to give IT. I overheard of they sometimes give it up but only on certain occasions and only when they want it. The talk of giving a blowjob to there men was a topic of humor for them, they both then laughed and said "I'm married I don't have to do that". One commented "He still needs to take care of me down there though if he expects to get in here." For a girl that had not even been asked out on a date this was a whole new world. And I had a suspicion that their experience was more realistic than the articles I sneaky read in Cosmo while getting my hair done at the salon. (I am supposed to put my hand WHERE? while simultaneously doing WHAT?) So I kept my eyes on my book, let the words blur into lines and listened closely.
“Doesn't he know how tired I am by the end of the day? As if after the kids are finally asleep I have the energy to do anything but sit down and watch some TV.”
“For me, it isn't even the energy it takes. I am still losing weight from the baby. I don’t feel sexy. I can hardly undress in front of a mirror, let alone in front of him. I honestly think it is selfish that he expects me to pretend to feel something that I don’t.”
“Selfish? That’s a good word. Maybe if he took care of the kids when he got home or made dinner once in a while I would be more interested. Hell, just pick up the milk on the way home from work. I am not asking for much. Now that I think about it, I don’t think we have done it in the last five weeks.”
[caption id="attachment_2427" align="alignnone" width="300"]
Giving it to her[/caption]“Yeah. It’s been at least three for us, and he's not very good at it anymore anyways”.
Wait. These women were married…they lived with a guy….who slept in their bed. They could have sex all the time! And they didn't want to? It made no sense…like turning down a zero calorie but as delicious as creme brulee dessert. (Or at least I assumed. At that point everything I knew about romance was gleaned from Anne of Green Gables and Moulin Rouge.) How sad. How wasteful. How stupid. When I got married, I would always want to have sex with my husband! And I would never be too tired. My goodness, it was just ridiculous to want him to bring home a gallon of milk just to prove he cared. Wasn't it just like a woman to make a grocery run a test of love. I suddenly then tohught of all the hatred for married men who cheat... then thought to myself no wonder they cheat, if there wives thought this way and acted like this. Even at 16 I had figured out than boys liked sex for what it was. As the final coat of polish was applied to my nails, I swore to never be like them. My life would be different. I would be better. I would never feel too fat or too tired. Ever.
And then I grew up.
Intercourse, carnal knowledge, lovemaking, knocking boots, coitus, SEX! is everything sixteen year old me imagined plus a little whipped cream on top. (Whipped cream, see what I did there?) And once Riley and I got married there was lots and lots and lots of it. Then we had a baby and I really was just so tired my bones hurt. And for a while I did feel fat. Even after I lost the pregnancy weight everything just looked different. Like a cut flower that has been left out in the sun, still lovely just a little…wilted. The sex felt different after kid also, ad I found myself not as attracted him for awhile. It was the same naked man I had seen a million times. I became a little distant. We started to fall asleep without talking or kissing. And then one day while washing dishes, I realized that we had gone eleven days without touching each other. Eleven days was a quite some time for us, it had been even longer since we had sex last time and I could not recall the last time I gave him a blowjob. But the thing that bothered me the most was that I hadn't missed it. And I knew that was a problem. So that night after we put the baby to bed, I gave Riley my best come hither glance. Yes, I was tired and felt about as desirable as the “feed the birds” lady in Mary Poppins. But while drying the dishes, it occurred to me that sixteen year old Meg must have understood something about sex that twenty-something Meg had forgotten. And maybe, just maybe it was worth remembering. Suffice it to say I caught him off guard that night, I think he had given up on me also and it scared me the way he seemed to not know what to do. I then realized this is how married men end up stepping out on there wife's. The sex that night was not awesome, in fact it took him less than 2 minutes to finish but I realized how much I missed him touching me, holding me and wanting me.
[caption id="attachment_2428" align="alignnone" width="300"]
Pleasing him[/caption]And so, without further ado….
Five Reasons You Should Have Sex with Your Husband Every Night
1. Being a mother, one of the ultimate expressions of womanhood, can often leave a girl feeling stripped of her femininity. There is something about being covered in spit up and attending to the every need of another human being that makes one feel distinctly gender neutral. Most of my days are spent playing with dolls, wiping baby food off of my clothes, changing diapers, wiping snot off of my clothes, going to the park, and wiping what-the-heavens-is-that off of my clothes. There is something restorative about kissing the boy you love. There are times in Riley’s arms when I remember who I am before I even realize I have forgotten. Yes, I am a cook, cleaner, teacher, and wiper of all things disgusting. But I am also something more, something delightful and completely apart from my roles. I am a woman! I am sexy, I have the pussy and he wants it and me! And there is potential and depth and heck, I am pretty darn good kisser, I give a damn good blowjob too. It is a lovely thing, finding yourself through the touch of someone else.
2. If you want your husband to act like a man, you need to treat him like a man. Hold the eye rolls. I am not pushing for a return to the 1950′s. (Although, heaven knows an era in which low rise jeans did not exist is basically alright by me, because I now longer look even remotely good in anything like that) Women need any number of criteria met to feel loved. Men are far simpler. They need to be fed, they need to be appreciated, and they need to have sex (see ego) That is it. Really. So make or order dinner once in a while. Say thank you for the long hours spent at work with a hug and smile when he walks through the door each night. (Better yet? Smile as you hand him the kids and walk out the door for a long, much needed break.) And my goodness, let the poor man see you naked. It amazes me even after kids how much he likes seeing me naked. I don't understand it but I'm glad he likes it. It is astounding what a good man will do for a good woman that has made him feel loved. After a few weeks of meals and make outs, you will sit back and wonder why you didn't insist on having sex every night sooner. Talk about a small investment and big returns. It does not have to be crazy sex every night either. Try something you never thought you should. Tonight look at your husband in the eyes, grab his package and tell him "if you ever just want to fuck me to get your rocks off you let me know!" I can't tell you how many times I have now had my husband tell me he needs to fuck me real fast and it's done and over. I don't have to be in the mood, I don't have to feel like it's the "right" time. Men don't care, and it's ok if you let him use you now and again - Your married for damn sake. What do I get out of? I get a sense that my man is happy, he loves me and I don't have to do anything else that night but watch TV with him now if I want to.
[caption id="attachment_2429" align="alignnone" width="300"]
Happy Ending[/caption]3. You need to have a moment in each day that is just about the two of you. Remember that boy? The one that made your heart thump and hands sweat? The one that called when you hoped he would, that made you run hot and high up to the stars until you thought you would never come down? He is still there. Under the years and bills and worries, that smiling boy is still in love with and needs his smiling girl. Every night after the kids go to bed is a chance to find him again. A moment to remind yourself that you are living a picket fenced adventure and my goodness, there is nothing the two of you can’t do.
4. Sex relieves stress. I don’t know that this one needs much explanation. As a mother I eat stress for breakfast. So it seems to me I have a choice. I can let off steam by A) driving around at night and bashing in strangers mailboxes or B) I can get down and dirty with that one guy I married that one time. I choose option B. (So far the mailboxes in my neighborhood have escaped unscathed, so Option B must be working.)
[caption id="attachment_2430" align="alignnone" width="300"]
Finishing him off[/caption]5. It is so much blasted fun. Seriously. Why are we so quick to refuse the good things in life? We will slog through our children’s Algebra homework, do Zumba in public and pluck the hair from our body ONE PIECE AT A TIME. But tell a girl to have sex every night and she looks at you like you are crazy, An orgasm? Every night? What do I look like? A Nymphomaniacal Super Woman?
Where is the logic in that?
Are we really too busy doing dishes to participate in an activity that is so good it has inspired genius (that saucy Shakespeare) and changed history (Okay, Helen of Troy, we get it. You were super hot)? My goodness, what a crazy way to live. Ladies, did it ever occur to you (to us!) that we should have sex because WE DESERVE IT?
Yeah, you deserve it.
So, tonight put the kids to bed. Leave the dishes in the sink and the floors unswept. They will wait. Take a moment to remember that you are the girl you hoped you would be and then go find that boy and remind him that he is the man you knew he could be. There is nothing wrong with telling him to come hither. Tell him tonight you need the kitty licked and you want it this way and that. What man would tell you no?
Rinse. Repeat.
Great article. After 20,years of marriage I have figured out that taking a few minutes to let your husband have his way with you be n if you are not needing anything goes along way
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