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What the cup - By guest blogger "Seattle Mom-Not-Fancy"




There’s a curious reality to men’s underwear sizing; It assumes all men who wear the same size underwear have the same size…er, private parts.  So, to put this in bra terms, it’s like thinking that all woman with a 36 band size, for example,  have the same cup size.  And we know that’s not true.

I discovered this fact back when I went to interview some men's underwear and sports clothing manufacturers and asked how a man is supposed to size his jock strap for a document I was creating as a freelance project.  Naively, I just assumed it was a similar system to a woman’s bra.

A few questions into my interviews, I found out I was wrong.  All the jock manufacturers told me that if a man’s “package” didn’t fit in the cup, he would need to go up a size (e.g. from a medium to a large) to get a larger cup – even if that meant his waistband would now be too big. No, no I clarified. "I mean if the man is buying his jock strap how does he get the right cup size I asked again". There is no specific cup size they all said. If he needs a a larger cup size he has to get a larger jock strap size all around. Wait what? So the waist is going to be bigger even if they have a smaller waist and bigger junk? What about professional sports I thought... again I had the same answer. Even with all the special equipment and custom sized uniforms there no custom size for men in the hot dog and beans department. 

When I went back home I asked my husband and he validated this fact to be true -  if your a man you are stuck with the cup size you get based on the overall size of the underwear. 

I admit I was surprised by this because it didn’t make sense to me.  Men are already size conscious when it comes to their package.  Why wouldn’t they have a sizing system in place to accommodate this? I chalked it up to sizing and fit not being a big deal with men I thought. Although when I asked around some more I discovered that this is just a problem men seem to be living with and dealing with. I spoke to all kinds of men who said it was to baggy or to tight down there.Asking my husband about this problem he reluctantly admitted that most of the time he ended up in a  bigger size jock strap than his junk actually needed.

My story then shifted to the fact that men's clothing and specifically men's underwear seems to not be made to fit a man in all his areas like women's clothing. As I did my research I discovered a new men’s underwear line, HARDDRIVE, with an attempt to address this issue.  They claim to have created proportion fit underwear for men, and it’s sized by both a man’s waist AND cup size.
When I saw this my mind immediately started racing…  How are they determining cup size?  I jumped to their size chart,  found their “How to Find the Perfect Fit” instructions, and let out a howl that brought my dogs running to my office.  Here is what it says:

“First, measure length.  Next, measure girth.  Multiply length & girth.”  And, I particularly loved the footnote: “Remember… always measure yourself in the state of mind that you expect to be in while wearing.” 

In other words if you walk around with a stiffy I guess you measure it that way. At last, giving men worldwide a legitimate reason to measure. Doing some more research I began asking men if this really mattered that much for "smaller" men versus "larger" men. Most admitted this is probably more of an issue for men that have more junk in the front but have smaller waists, but admitted that a better fitting jockstrap and underwear down there would be nice.
Not being one to totally dismiss an “out-of-the-box” idea, I decided to do a little research. Searching on “average penis size”.. I had a good idea from my own experience. I am married, have seen plenty of naked men prior to my marriage and have two boys also. I am familiar with the equipment. Jane's own blog was of great help and I off-course confided in her. 

After some Googling and research I ascertained that this appendage averages about 6 inches long with a girth of 4-4.5 inches when at rest, if you have a boner or think you will grow then you need to account for that I assume. This calculation therefore concludes that the average guy is a 21-24 measurement. And, according to their size chart, this would be an “A” cup.  Oh, did I mention they decided to match the letters given to women's bra cup sizing?  I also had a concern for men everywhere about an "average" guy being an "A" size cup. My man gets the job done just fine but he would defiantly be on the smaller side of average and I would hate to be picking out an "A" size pair of underwear for my man. 

At least I would have thought they would have chosen something more “guy-friendly” like, I don’t know, maybe coffee sizes or beer… regular, tall, venti - maybe start at standard and go up from there?  Or, maybe a car analogy like Boxter, Cayman, 911 and Panamera?  Oh, what about hamburgers: Junior burger, Big Mac, Quarter Pounder and Angus Delux? But, I digress.
Feeling that further research was needed, I grabbed a tape measure and headed for my pantry.  I wanted to find examples that represented the various cup sizes they are purporting in their size chart. Here’s what I found:  a can of tuna fish qualifies as an A cup.  A traditional soup can is a C cup.  A 16 oz. water bottle is a D cup.  And a mayonnaise jar or larger is a DD cup. A mayonnaise jar is a lot of balls and penis to stuff in some underwear I have decided. I am not sure weather to feel sorry for the guy or his wife. 

This all makes a lot of sense to have this option available for men who have trouble finding the right fit. After having talked a fair amount with men about underwear it seems there are a lot of guys who are skinny through the waist but larger than average down below and end up wearing boxers all the time for this exact reason. I’d expect the male “cup size” would be a pressing issue for those who are at either extreme end of the sizing spectrum.

This is all interesting, but this company and several others I found seem to not to take the size of a guys testicles into account. Most men seemed to convey that those things are often a bigger problem in a jockstrap or underwear than a soft penis. It would seem some men are “all potatoes and no meat”.

Maybe by girth they mean girth of the WHOLE PACKAGE at its base – that would then account for everything that needs to fit the cup, but even using that analogy I was unable to determine exactly how we go about making a good fit. I have written the company to get some more clarification but unfortunately it seems they might be out of business. 


A final suggestion from a male friend on naming the sizes: "There’s no such thing as Small and Medium. Just start with Large and go up from there."


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