The majority of women do not reach orgasm the "traditional" way. Time and time again I tell women this. Let’s just say, vibrators are fantastic.
They help you have an orgasm in an easy and fun way, whether you’re in a relationship or not. You can use them on your own or while having sex with a partner. In Sex & the City, Charlotte was obsessed with The Rabbit, which looks a little, well, intimidating but is a great toy. dildo's even just 10 years ago where nothing compared to the fantastic realistic toys now. Start out with an average size and move up if you want.
Traditionally women have been denied orgasm until finally those in the know began speaking up and tell all of us that "intercourse is the most ineffective way to bring a woman to orgasm!" Men are typically not hat good with there dick, we take to long, it doesn't rub all the right stuff right etc and so on! So, reaching orgasm reliably with a vibrator and occasionally with oral stimulation is not too far off typical and should not cause you any worry.
Now, the issue of introducing your toy to a boyfriend or husband is in part because he is likely to see it as your toy! So, introduce it to him not by showing him what it can do for you, but showing him what it can do for him! Maybe don't start with something larger than your man, start with a smaller toy then graduate up. Most men can be scared about the size of these toys. If your man is confident it will help but most men might have some issues with a 9 inch dildo getting you off.
With a vibrator try running the vibrating tip along the sensitive underside of his erection and around the rim of the head of his penis. In a sense, you want him to see the vibrator as a plaything you both can have fun with... it will make him feel less competitive with it. With a dildo try giving him a blowjob and having him fuck you with the dildo at the same time. Then he can see what he gets out of this.
Have him watch you as you apply it to yourself. Don't try to orgasm... let him get down to see where you put it and how you move it and talk to him as you do so. Educate him. Even then, when it finally gets to the point that you feel the need to orgasm, you will probably have to take control of the vibrator... you will probably remain the expert on its use, no matter how good a teacher you are.
One of the wonderful things about a vibrator or dildo (in addition to producing reliable orgasms) is that the typical user will hold it on her clitoris. This means her vaginal opening is still accessible for her lover's penis. Vibrators can be used during intercourse and are often more acceptable to men when they are.
The guy can think that he is a part of the woman's orgasmic experience, and indeed he is, for many women experience a full sensation when they orgasm with clitoral stimulation but something friendly inside. Experiment with positions of intercourse in which you can manipulate the vibrator and get the results you want. If you are unfamiliar with the "scissors position," use it during sex using a toy or vibrator.
Since I am an advocate for skillful cunnilingus (eating pussy) I would urge you to tell your man to give oral stimulation a chance also. It might help if during the oral stimulation of your clitoris, your partner inserts one or two fingers and, with palm up, presses up behind your pubic bone. This is the notorious G Spot area. He should then curl his fingers as though beckoning someone to "come here." So, tell me, do you have a vibrator or dildo? Would you try one out? Would you even comment on a post about sex toys? Like them? Hate them?
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