It's not so unusual for women to have there best orgasms by themselves. Toys now can really provide the catalyst and the climaxes you give yourself are more dynamic because you're completely in control of your pleasure.
You probably take the time to build your arousal (which leads to stronger orgasms) and focus on your erogenous areas -- like your G-spot and clitoris -- with the precise pressure, movement and strokes that catapult you over the edge. Your self-induced orgasms are also more intense because you can totally concentrate on your enjoyment; you're not distracted worrying about how much pleasure your guy is experiencing.
If your using a toy like a dildo you can make the stokes perfectly match your rhythm or a vibrator that can provide unrelenting stimulation. Since you know better than your man what exactly it takes to make your head spin, show him how to replicate your solo technique. Try giving him a tutorial by masturbating in front of him, which can make for an incredibly erotic encounter. Or, give him a demo with your hand over his, then have him mimic your moves.
You can also amp up your arousal when doing the deed by having sex in positions that give both of you easy clitoral access -- like woman-on-top and doggy-style. While all these strategies should intensify your sack sessions, there's a good chance that your most earth-shattering orgasms will still be those you give yourself. But try not to get caught up in comparisons.
After all, sex with your guy isn't just about the destination -- getting there is half the fun. It could also be that men still are clueless about women's orgasms or still they don;t care. There is still a disparity between good sex for men and women.
While 85% of men believe that their partners had an orgasm during their last sexual experience, only 44% of women report actually having one. Are we faking it? Do they really not know? Only 49% of women climax regularly with a partner anyways. Those numbers change a bit depending on who women are having sex with though according to a recent survey. Some women said that it can vary depending on the man they are with.
Interestingly lesbians had a 75% orgasm rate. Men across the sexuality spectrum, however, all reported around an 89% orgasm rate, and another study shows that 77% of men report always having an orgasm during sex. Every. Single. Time. Not a big surprise there at all. I have even been with men that can't get hard but can still orgasm.
Kathryn Stamoulis, an educational psychologist and professor of human sexuality at Hunter College, told me that even though research shows that honest sexual education doesn’t lead to young people having more sex, “many parents have the fear that talking about sex is going to make a teenager go out and immediately do it.”
Kathryn Stamoulis, an educational psychologist and professor of human sexuality at Hunter College, told me that even though research shows that honest sexual education doesn’t lead to young people having more sex, “many parents have the fear that talking about sex is going to make a teenager go out and immediately do it.” McKenzie is right: sex and pleasure are more nuanced than that. But until we recognize that women’s pleasure during sex is just as important as men’s – and that there’s nothing wrong with having sex just because it feels good.
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