Cougar sex

The divorce is over, kids are older and you find yourself in a situation where you don’t want to jump back into a relationship, but you do want to have great sex! 

Typically older women divorcing have had a poor sexual relationship for years prior. Why not have it with a younger man? Men have been doing this for centuries, having sex with women many years younger then them. 

The best part about being a “Couger” is that you can have that hot guy you wanted in your twenties but would have been labeled as a slut at the time. Now, you no longer care about being the “good girl” so you can get married and have children. Now you can be the naughty girl and fulfill those sexual desires that you kept dormant thought out your marriage. I’m a 50-year-old woman, in good health and attractive, I think. 

I have remained single after I divorced the father of my children almost 10 years ago, and the truth is that I haven’t had one meaningful relationship since. I’m still sexually active, though, and I have to add that my sex life may be somewhat racy at times, but I make no apologies for it, nor do I try to lead a secret existence beyond what’s normally expected to be private. I don’t think there’s anything wrong with what I’ve said so far, except for the fact that I date and have sex with men who are significantly younger than me.

I’m talking about ages 19 up to 35, more or less. I feel extremely conflicted about this. Yes I said 19. I was 40 at the time it was soon after my divorce. I realize that my chances of having a romantic relationship with younger men are not so simple, and the old adage that “age is just a number” may suit men more than women due to expiration date on beauty and fertility. However, I cannot get myself attracted to men my age or even slightly younger. I’ve tried dating some, but I can’t get past that. 

With younger men, on the other hand, everything flows perfectly when it comes to sex. As a 50 year old women I know what I need sexually to be satisfied. What am I hinting about when I say "flows perfectly". It's not just some young man with a huge cock. Huge cocks are nice but let's face it, erections are more important. With younger men there is less of a chance that he won't have a boner and the younger they are the more likely it's hard before we even get started. I realize that can come (no pun intended) with some unexpected quick finishes but they usually bounce back quick and can be trained! You might be surprised at how good the sex really is though. 

Some of these young men may provide a little more than others in terms of intimacy, but I don’t expect it in general. What I do expect is certain sexual satisfaction, and so far things have worked out relatively well. I consider myself extremely lucky that younger men still find me attractive, so I have no problems in finding takers for my little forays. I feel somewhat guilty at times. Men my age approach me at times and they are absolutely pleasant to be with, but I still cannot get myself to consider them as sexual partners. 

It’s been 15 years since the last time I went to bed with a man older than me, and you might as well make that 25 years since he was only one year older. I also lost my virginity to a guy who was two years younger than me, and even back in my younger years, I dated men who were younger, so this is not something that started recently. 

I sometimes wonder if I’ll end up alone in life because I’m not able to maintain companionship. It’s not that I mind that prospect, but more than being alone, I dread that I won’t be having any more sex after a certain age outside of a long-term relationship. 

If you are going to date younger men, here are my rules for dating younger men. 

Rule #1 Young men have come up with the term "FWB or Friends with benefits" this term needs to be squashed right away, you are a cougar so your term is “lover” The difference is that you don’t want a friend, you want a lover, a man that is respectful of you, and understands that having sex is not just physical but emotional. The emotional sex though is only during the act, no strings attached and not a friend. They can’t call you on the phone and say “hey dude let’s go out for a drink” You are a woman and expect or teach the young man to respect you as one. If he can’t afford to take you out for a drink then, he can at least bring over a nice bottle of wine. If he is just a good fuck that's fine, but I still try and keep it classy until he has me bent over. 

Rule #2 Do not get attached or make more out of the encounter than it is, this is about sexual satisfaction, gratification and fun. This is not a long term relationship, or a man that you can cry on his shoulder. This is hot passionate sex, you have passion at your age and his vigor and willingness to be open to you is on the same level. I don’t want to say “boy toy” but if that helps keep things in perspective then there it is, no one gets hurt and you both just have fun! Be careful with the boy toy thing though, make sure you still treat him with as much respect as you expect back. Just because he might have a big cock that's hard before he even walks in the door does not mean you can treat him like trash. 

Rule #3 Don’t get sucked into to the dating generation of endless texting and skyping, men in their 20’s are more apprehensive to meet in person. They have gotten so used to technology that a face to face meeting may be a little intimidating. If he insists on the skpe and endless texting move on, it will just be a big waste of your time. Many of them just want to get off "virtually" and that's no fun long term. I engage in some virtual play but I prefer skin-on-skin. 

Rule #4 Don’t be afraid to tell your young hot guy what turns you on in bed, most young men are eager to please and learn a thing or two. Understand that by you teaching them about how a woman really enjoys sex you are doing a wonderful educational tool for other women that he many come across in the future. If they are really young or inexperienced don't be surprised by the quick finish but with some work there is a good payoff. (Women helping women) 

Rule #5 Stock up on sexy lingerie. As women get more used to a single life, they tend to give up wearing sexy innerwear in favor of comfort and convenience. And yet there are few quicker ways to perk up your inner sexuality than putting on some racy underwear. So get out of your comfort zone and buy something sensuous and naughty, a garment you would never consider wearing under ordinary circumstances and slip it under your everyday clothes. This will be your secret only and you’ll feel super sexy at the thought of what others don’t know and you do. Eventually when you do bring home a guy for a nightcap, you will have no problems turning him on as your disrobe yourself. 

Rule #6 Be safe. No matter how inexperienced you believe your date is, don’t put your health at risk by having unsafe sex. Always keep a few latex condoms handy in case you and your date get into a frisky mood. Sexually transmitted diseases are an ugly reality in casual dating and the more partners you have, the higher are your chances of catching an infection. Your young date may demur or be impatient to get things going, but your body will feel far less exhilarating when later you are troubled by a rash down there.